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HEALTH - OJOCHAL & SURROUNDINGS
62
He knows how to call chickens, lower oranges shaking the
branches, enjoys papaya juice, likes fresh nance or lemon, and
scares evils with a scapular. He is not photogenic but has a
painting where he looks amazing with his wife. He knows two
jokes, repeats them constantly, and has credit in his grocery
store.
He listens to the news on the radio and believes everything. He
knows how good it is to purge his children and grandchildren,
and the guardian angel has never forsaken him. He says
“engineer” to anyone, and everyone calls him Don. He does not
know how to change a car tire but would always try to do it. He
knows how to sh, does not like soft beds, drinks Coca-Cola
only on exceptional occasions, beer always, and warm it does
not matter. At night he walks without a lamp, and mosquitoes
don’t bite him. He has eaten turtle, iguana, pig, beef, hen,
creole eggs, fox, snake, and all that tastes like a hen. He does
not know when it is a holiday and who to vote for because
everyone has offered him something, and none has kept his
word. There is nothing more beautiful than the farmers like my
grandparents and parents were.
The farmer smokes, drinks, tells stories, bets, ghts, supports
seven children or more, sows beans, potatoes, cassava, corn,
bananas, cocoa, sugarcane, collects, milks 50 cows from 4 in the
morning, knows how to whistle, he talks to the animals, and they
respond to him, there is a dog that follows him everywhere.
The farmer never retires, has no social security, and does not need
it; it does not affect his height. He walks around without sunscreen,
recognizes a ripe avocado without squeezing it, has a long ngernail
to peel tangerines, knows by eye how much a bulk weighs. He can
handle up to eight horses or mules at the same time. By looking and
turning it around, he knows how much the pig and the cow weigh,
he can handle up to eight horses or mules simultaneously, and he
knows the names of more than 50 animals. He carries a machete
ready to defend himself but has never used it.
The farmer does not need front teeth to laugh; he has the recipe
for tiger milk; and has never received dance classes but dances.
He does not suffer from depression or stress and knows 142 bad
words. He has seen the devil in the eld, knows who the village
witch is, and has a bit of a sorcerer himself. He does not get burned
by boiling coffee, wakes up before the alarm clock rings, changes
the battery, and xes clocks; a ue does not knock him down, his old
ICE cell phone hardly ever has a signal, and when it does, it never
rings.
He says hello 150 times a day, repeats the greetings, and says
goodbye up to 3 times. His pants are two sizes too big, but they
never fall off. He talks loud even to share a secret, knows shortcuts
to get there faster, knows when it will rain and fails much less than
the weather report, knows how to scare away rain and thunder. He
is not affected by gluten or lactose, caffeine does not keep him up,
and he recognizes bad boys and bad women.
FARMERS ALWAYS WORK
AUTHOR: ANONYMOUS
